Written by TM_Dealer
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Monday, 13 April 2015

Prominent atheist and notable public figure Sam Harris has persuaded some Democratic Senators to try to stop the Flintstones from being shown in science classes.

According to Harris, the scientific evidence about human beings evolving much later than the extinction of the dinosaurs is not only compelling...

But also entirely delegitimises showing children any programs that depict humans and dinosaurs living in the same period.

Naturally, such confusion can only have pernicious consequences.

But some teachers are upset. One distraught and tearful teacher wailed:

I've just cried and cried. I just don't understand it. We weren't trying to indoctrinate the kids™, we were just giving them something to entertain them once in a while.

I mean, I swear, I really swear by all that's good and holy (sorry Sam!), we didn't mean to turn them against science and rationality...

I mean, we were only trying to show them something fun. And it wasn't even in science class, either!™

Seriously, when I found out the harm we were doing, well, I've never been so ashamed in all my life.

I mean, if I'd known, I would never, never have done it™; not once in my life, not ever™.

I'm seriously contemplating just quitting teaching. I really don't think I can go on having this on my conscience, ruining the critical spirit of these poor children, and transforming them into woo-ridden fantasy-junkies.

Harris was absolutely unmoved by these comments.

Well, it's a bit late for tears now, isn't it?™ This teacher obviously should have thought about that, before he started poisoning the minds™ of these kids with his pseudoscientific creationist propaganda™.

I have absolutely no sympathy whatsoever ™for someone who would deliberately and knowingly spread disinformation about our origins™.

You know, like those Republicans who want to dictate™ what can and cannot be shown in a science class.

Yeah, I mean, we didn't win the scope trials so that people could start saying, "you can't show this in science class, you can't talk about that…"

Oh. Whoops.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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