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Friday, 29 July 2011

image for "Online Stephen King Satire Serial May Never Be Completed" Says Local Man
Blodwyn, Out Of 'Miserable' Off Down The Shops Last Winter.

An on line satire serial, loosely based on the Stephen King novel, 'Misery,' entitled: 'Miserable - Not To Be Confused With Stephen King's "Misery"' may never be completed, according to hack writer, local man, Martin Shuttlecock.

The serial, which has so far been published on satirical website, The Spoof, has attracted a dedicated following of at least five 'fans,' but according to Shuttlecock, the rest of the project may never see the light of day.

In the series, the action is transported from the rural backwoods of Maine, to the hills and valleys of Wales, although in some other respects, such as the plotline, which involves a writer, who has been injured in a car crash, who is taken hostage by a raving loony mad mentalist woman who intends to do him a bit of serious ABH, (Actual Bodily Harm) the two stories run in tandem.

To the dismay of the devoted five readers, Shuttlecock announced this morning that it may not be possible to conclude the stunning tour de force.

"It isn't that I don't want to finish it," Shuttlecock explained. "It's just that I have other, more pressing things to do right now. With hindsight, I should have knocked it out when I had some time on my hands, but I was just too busy charging round the house with a rolled up newspaper, twatting flying ants. It never really crossed my mind that there may be time constraints involved."

Shuttlecock explained that he had been prompted to attempt the serial by the challenge of presenting a two handed drama, in the cack handed fashion in which he usually attempts similar exercises.

He vowed to press on with the yarn when time allows, but regretted that he couldn't give any cast iron guarantees that it would ever be completed.

Fellow Spoof writer Erskin Quint, offered his sympathies:

"I know where the author is coming from with this," he said. "I've had the same problem with my very own 'Shylock Humes And The Case Of The Narwhal Tusk Scrimshaw.' You start out doing these things with the best of intentions, but then other things take priority. Like bee-keeping, wombat welfare, raised skirts, and vintage motor cars. I do hope Shuttlecock completes the project, but I'd understand if he couldn't squeeze it in. It's definitely a two antimacassar problem."

Another fellow writer, Seaton Carew, one time thespian and long time waiter, opined:

"I hope he does finish it. Not that I'll read it. I've got flying ant problems of me own. Bastards they are."

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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