Written by Skoob1999
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Tuesday, 29 June 2010

image for Emma Watson Will Not Appear Naked In Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows
Googling This Trio Naked Would Yield The Same Result. Nothing.

Contrary to rumour, actress Emma Watson will not be appearing naked in either of the two part Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows movies.

The climax of the Harry Potter series, which sees Harry come face to face with Voldemort, his arch enemy, does not at any point feature Emma Watson unclothed.

There is a trailer out though.

The first part of the two parter is expected to get a theatrical release in the run up to Christmas.

But anyone hoping to see Emma Watson naked is in for a big disappointment. As our showbiz expert Buffty Ginslinger explained:

"I don't know why, but there's this fascination about seeing young ladies naked these days. Mainly among dirty old men, or even dirty young men. It's perverse. And the thing of it is, when they don't see Emma Watson, or Kristen Stewart, or Miley Cyrus naked in their films, the silly sods log on to the internet and Google it. Lord knows what they expect to find. What the hell is an 'upskirt shot' by Perez Hilton? Lord knows, there's more than enough 'exposure' for this kind of thing on the net. And when you get right down to it - one vagina looks pretty much the same as another. Especially since we had Brazilian waxing. Plenty of vaginas, breasts and nudity out there. Why get obssessed with Emma's, Miley's, or Cheryl Cole's?"

Which seems like a fair and logical assessment.

In a controlled experiment, The Office Of International Statistics showed ten photographs of vaginas to a hundred men, and none of them could tell the difference between the vaginas of Emma Watson, Miley Cyrus, or Betty Turpin out of Coronation Street.

The conclusion being that it's pretty fucking pointless Googling Emma Watson naked, or Miley Cyrus's vagina. Just spare a thought for Mr Watson and Billy Ray with his achy bakey heart.


More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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