Written by Skoob1999
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Tuesday, 15 June 2010

image for Nude Celebrity Pics Website Goes Tits Up
England Goalkeeper Robert "Fumbles" Green Naked.

Previously popular nude celebrity pictures website www,whoeveryouwantstarkbollocknaked.con has reported an alarming downturn in internet subscribers and is lowering subscription rates to $0.25 a month as it struggles through the recession.

The website, which offers pictures of celebrities unclothed and usually in exotic locations has blamed a sudden inexplicable lack of interest in naked celebrities for the downturn in traffic.

"I'll never understand the bloody internet," website owner Corey Wankstain told us. "One minute you're flying and the money's rolling in, the next minute it's all gone tits up and you're struggling to pay the bills. I blame it all on the wankers who log onto the site. They either want naked celebrities or they don't. They need to sort themselves out. Otherwise purveyors of fine pornography like me, will simply go out of business."

A former subscriber to the website, Thomas Raincoat from Uxbridge told our reporter:

"Frankly I'm not surprised they're going under. They should be had up in court. They say they've got Cheryl Cole and Miley Cyrus, Selena Gomez and Charlotte Church, Robert Pattinson, Taylor Lautner and Kristen Stewart naked in pictures, and when you pay your $200,000 monthly subscription, it isn't them at all. They've just photoshopped celeb heads onto girly mag pix, or they're 'artist's impressions' - usually crap pencil drawings or wax crayon renderings, and not the real celebrities naked at all. I felt so let down by the site that I sent them webcam images of me having a wank and shooting my load in a bowl of fruit. They never ran it."

Readers can see Thomas Raincoat's webcam submission at www.jizzingonabowloffruit.con

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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