Written by b kenneth mcgee
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Friday, 4 March 2011

In breaking news yesterday, Newt Gingrich who is known for his quirky personality, announced on an online dating website that he would be starting his 2012 presidential bid.

Many in the media and the political world were not surprised. According to first reports, the response has been less than overwhelming.

According to a spokesman for the web site, there has been only one response and it was from out of the country. An underage female with the web name, Ruby the Heart Stealer, Emailed from Italy that she liked politics and politician, was currently unemployed, and specialized in "raising the dead."

The AP is reporting this morning that other GOP presidential hopefuls are quickly following Gingrich's lead:

Haley Barbour has told the wire service he would be announcing at the annual meeting of the KKK, at which time Anna Mae McCorkle of Louisburg, NC, will be singing her original ballad, "Give Hate a Chance."

Other GOP, less than spectacular hopefuls, quickly rushed as lemmings to the sea to find innovative ways to announce:

Mike Huckabee's announcement will come at the opening of this years re-runs of Hee Haw.

Michele Bachmann quickly followed suite by saying she would announce during an informercial for the amazing flowbee.

Mitt Romney has purchased time on the first episode of The Bionic Man reruns.

Former Senator Larry Craig, a distant long shot for the nomination will state his case on the Discovery Channel's: Fly Fishing.

The White House issued a statement today saying these actions were not only demeaning but disrespectful to politics, politicians and the office of the President of the United States. A source within the white House said on condition of anonymity that they were considering the purchase of an hour's time on: Mission Impossible 3.

Breaking news: Sarah has just announced she will outline her hopes and dreams for a new America by appearing on all this years re-runs of: Leave it to Beaver!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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