Monday, 8 October 2007
See More Pictures Of This Insignificant Person On Pages 3, 4, 5,6 and 9.
From our media correspondant, Betty Diddit:
"Why oh WHY are people still drivelling on about this insignificant little wisp of a woman? Seriously, they just drone on and on about how much they love her or how much they hate her and it just takes up VALUABLE SPACE that could be used for news. Has she ever DONE anything except bagged and shagged?
It makes me SICK when I think of the people that they COULD be writing about. What about the single mother with five kids or the lonely husband whose kids have been snatched away? Do these people ever think about THEM when they parade this prissy princess across their pages? OF COURSE THEY DON'T!
I never want to hear anything more about Paris Hilton, unless she goes the whole hog and MURDERS someone."
For more views on 'why we shouldn't talk about Paris Hilton', see pages 5, 7 and 9, the comment section, the crossword and of course our blogs.
The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.
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