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Forum Home / General Discussion / Hello! And a puzzle for you
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Daisy Cutter
Writer Location: Birmingham Registered: 6 Nov 07 Forum Profile Writer's Profile |
I am fairly new to the site and so would like to introduce myself formally:
Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen! My fondest hopes for your health and productivity this lovely night. and now informally: hey dudes, what's up? So, this done I would like to bring your attention to a question that has been burning in my mind during long bus journeys for a few months: is there any bodily function that does not have a porn site, or fetish, related to it? |
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IN SEINE
French Tickler Location: AREA 51, NORTH WESTERN REGION Registered: 28 Jul 07 Forum Profile Writer's Profile |
Earwax production?
Picking your nose? Riding on long bus journies? ![]() ~IS~ |
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Gnarly Erik
Gnarly Dude |
Greeting Daisy, and welcome. Short answer to your question: "NO". Now, here's a question for you: "Do you know what a 'Daisy Cutter' actually is - and why?" Gnarly |
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Daisy Cutter
Writer Location: Birmingham Registered: 6 Nov 07 Forum Profile Writer's Profile |
Well, Daisy Cutter is actually my DJ name, being a hip-hop DJ it is apt, you know, cutting, scratching and all that lark. However, the original inspiration came from an argument with my boyfriend, who referred to me as "an emotional daisy cutter."
But there are two other famous Daisy Cutters: 1) the ground clearing bomb that was used during vietnam to clear stretches of vegetation 2) a gun slinging manga character of the same name. I had reached almost the same conclusion about bodily functions, but I'm just not that sure about nose mucus, I reckon there will be something involving that, I'm just too scared to actually google "snot porn," which is perhaps known as "snot shots" by mucus fetishists. |
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Daisy Cutter
Writer Location: Birmingham Registered: 6 Nov 07 Forum Profile Writer's Profile |
PS, I just plucked up the courage and found that in fact, there is a sneeze fetish website, and here is a cleaned up sample of one of the fantasy stories on there website.... this is real:
Dorothy, the hostess, had been looking forward to this sales meeting. The area managers had arrived a few minutes ago and she was about to bring in the ordered drinks. She was wearing high heels and panties and a short skirt, to be at her best. In a meeting with a lot of handsome young men she enjoyed being looked at. Randall ... he was there too. Three monhs ago he had been there for the first time, and he had impressed her. He looked just perfect, dark curly hair and a big nose, dark eyes, tall, and had been so kind. Somewhere in his thirties. She had been dreaming of meeting him again. He had smiled at her and ordered some 'lebon' tea. Yes, he did remember her ! She had looked into his eyes and thought that he looked a bit tired. And pale ? And sounded somewhat stuffed ? Would he have ... ?? She walked in with a trolley full of drinks and thought she would faint : aaah-SHUUU eh-SHUUU TSHAAAA !!! Randall sneezed a loud and wet triple in a clear blue-and-brown hanky and really needed to blow immediately afterwards. It sounded soo stuffy and there was no doubt that he had come down with a head cold. Her fetish was giving her hard times as she did not want to show the excitement she was feeling ! There must have been a blush on her cheeks and her ****peanuts**** must have been visible through her tight shirt. As she served Randall's tea he sniffled and said 'thadks', looking at her with his watery eyes. As she left the room she heard him honk again. What a pity she had to leave ... One hour later the managers moved to the aula to watch a presentation and Dorothy entered the meeting room to collect the empty cups and glasses. No, that could not be true ! Right under the chair where Randall had been sitting there was lying something clear blue-and-brown, something wrinkled. For two seconds she hesitated, then stepped forward straight to her goal and picked up the dropped hanky. The next second she was trembling with excitement. What she'd expected to be moist and cold was really soaked and the warmth was still in it. The last blow could not be older than a few minutes ... This was the hottest toy she'd ever held. She locked the door of the meeting room behind her. There was no time to loose. Her hand slided into her panties and she *****edited for the sake of Spoof readers ***** as she never did before, touching her ****ahem**** with the soaked hanky. Oh dear, poor Randall had been blowing so much that it was almost dripping. Her *****doodar**** asked for more. She gave it a good hanky massage. Oh, her ****naughty parts**** could not get enough of that. And her *****dumplings**** wanted to take part. She touched them with her other hand. Desire. Yes, penetrating her *****er, um**** wanted, and she was pushing in her wet toy as SOMEONE KNOCKED ON THE DOOR ! She jumped up, put her clothes back to order, made some noise with cups and glasses and then shouted : Yes ! (Damned, the door was still locked !) She turned the key and opened the door. A man was standing there : Randall ! 'Excuse be, lady, I thidk I bust have left by hadky id here', he said. Dorothy could feel the hot hanky burning in between her legs. 'I was tidying up, and I did not find it', she lied, undoubtedly with a naughty look in her eyes. 'But take a look if you want.' Randall sighed and soon regretted that, as it awoke a huge tickle in his red nose. 'I deed by hanky ...', he groaned and sneezed twice into his cupped hands. And Randall's hanky got wetter than ever before ... |
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King David
The King Location: "The South" Registered: 26 Oct 06 Forum Profile Writer's Profile |
You know that's not that bad for a little girl from Kansas. She coulda stayed in her Auntie Em's closet and never taken that trip!
Applause for her adventure! "There's no place like home. There's no place like home..." KD |
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Gnarly Erik
Gnarly Dude |
Odd name for a DJ, eh?
I wondered if anyone knew about those big babies used in 'Nam to open up the LZ's - the forerunners of the 'bunker busters' I think. ooo-eeee! My hankie will never same the same again . . . . . and, now I must hide from strangers when I use it! ooo-eeee! |
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carina-eta
Ice Queen of the North Location: back Registered: 16 Feb 07 Forum Profile Writer's Profile |
It must be very difficult having that particular fetish, rubbing yourself with someone else's wet hanky is gonna give you every cold virus going, and I bet the object of her desire, poor old Randall, really didnt feel up to seducing her, he probably just wanted a hot bath. Can you imagine his horror on learning his hanky was down her knickers, " Oh God, my boyfriend gave me that for Christmas, could you wash and iron it, love, and return it in the morning." Randall leaves with a shudder.
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IN SEINE
French Tickler Location: AREA 51, NORTH WESTERN REGION Registered: 28 Jul 07 Forum Profile Writer's Profile |
That snapshot was made even funnier by your editing. I laughed so much! Nice one DC! BTW Russian Roulette with food - interesting ![]() |
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Daisy Cutter
Writer Location: Birmingham Registered: 6 Nov 07 Forum Profile Writer's Profile |
yes, a snot fetish is certainly more hazardous than most other fetishes in terms of the likelihood of catching multiple colds (and worse).... although I guess you could catch a nasty case of athletes mouth if you had a serious toe sucking fetish.
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King David
The King Location: "The South" Registered: 26 Oct 06 Forum Profile Writer's Profile |
....or if you drank wine from a vineyard where the grapes were stomped barefoot by some with athletes foot.
KD |
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Daisy Cutter
Writer Location: Birmingham Registered: 6 Nov 07 Forum Profile Writer's Profile |
hmmm.... that has put me off my glass of red wine.
If anyone is particularly gripped, the Dorothy story was only part one, the post continued to part two of the story in which Dorothy hooks up with Randall and discovers that he too is a sneeze fetishist, and becomes aroused by the "watery clear mucus streaming from her nose." Randall then declares his undying love for Dorothy and tells her that he has many head colds every year and promises to give her all of them. Cute, eh? All on a site called SneezeFetishForum if you are in doubt of my truthfulness. |
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King David
The King Location: "The South" Registered: 26 Oct 06 Forum Profile Writer's Profile |
Is Randall a munchkin?
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carina-eta
Ice Queen of the North Location: back Registered: 16 Feb 07 Forum Profile Writer's Profile |
You read to the end? You READ TO THE END??
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Daisy Cutter
Writer Location: Birmingham Registered: 6 Nov 07 Forum Profile Writer's Profile |
No, that was nowhere near the end. There was a part three that I didn't even attempt to explore. Apparently there is a lot of mileage to be had from sneeze fantasies.
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morgado
Writer Location: Birmingham, England Registered: 19 Dec 07 Forum Profile Writer's Profile |
After sexual climax, I wonder if sneeze fetishists say, "bless you."
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carina-eta
Ice Queen of the North Location: back Registered: 16 Feb 07 Forum Profile Writer's Profile |
no, but Fergus will for a small fee, the fee is bigger if he's involved in the actual climax.
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Any opinions expressed here are purely the opinions of the contributors and are not necessarily the opinions of The Spoof, its staff or the original writer of the spoof news/parody/satire story.
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