IMF's Accounts Don't Balance! Details Emerge of More 'Monkey Business' In 'French Conundrum' Sex Case!

Funny story written by Morse

Tuesday, 17 May 2011


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DSK's 'first class' Meal While Cooling his Arse in Rikers Island

Despite attempts at a Super, Super, Super Injunction to keep a lid on the breaking scandal affecting the International Monetary Fund (IMF), the next Presidential Election in France, and the balance of trade involving 'stinky cheese', more sordid details continue to ooze out involving Dominique Strauss-Kuhn (DSK)

While earlier reports were successfully suppressed and left on the editor's cutting room floor, outrage over the incident continues to gather voice as more details concerning alleged charges of forcible sodomy, attempted rape, and false imprisonment seem to gather weight as DSK was denied bail and will be spending his time behind bars in NYC until at least May 20.

The 62 year old who has been accused, or praised, depending if you live in France or the US, as having a rampant libido likened to that of a 'Chimpanzee in heat' according to another alleged victim, this one in France, now has changed his story once again.

First reports had DSK denying the attack on a 32 year old hotel maid, changed to it couldn't have happened as he was having lunch with his daughter at the time, to now, "it was a consensual arrangement!" The last scenario floated after blood was found on the hotel sheets and DNA swabs taken from the alleged victim as well as the accused.

Meanwhile the French Socialist Politician so adept at spending everybody else's money, he earns over $450,000 a year TAX FREE plus a $75,000 lump sum for 'cost of living adjustments', was reduced to eating a stale American Cheese sandwich while awaiting arraignment.

This was AFTER being photographed NAKED and probed in various vacuous body cavities for weapons , contraband and smuggled rare forms of endangered wild life, not to mention truffles and common garden snails.

His wife, who according to records has been through this scenario before, wired $1m in CASH to secure his bail, but the judge citing Roman Polanski's famous flight to France to avoid statutory rape charges, turned him down, despite US Secretary of State Tim Geithner and the Greek Ambassador testifying to DSK's 'impeccable monetary credentials.'

In 2009 Obama's Administration got a $108B commitment to the IMF supported by John Kerry, (D,Rich, MA) over the objections of conservatives in the Senate led by Jim DeMint, (R, SC) who were tired of seeing American taxpayer dollars being 'pissed away."

The ongoing scandal is now shedding light on the nefarious activities of the IMF at a time when the organization is instrumental in trying to bail out the European Union (EU) by pledging money to bail out fiscally irresponsible members at the cost of those nations giving up their sovereign rights.

Ireland, forced to accept EU money earlier last year to stave off financial ruin,is now attempting to return it, saying the price to their individuality and sovereign rights was 'just to bloody much!"

Fergus McCarthy, a noted vocal opponent of the Irish bailout when told of DSK's current dilemma said, " Told ya! Can't turn yer back on the Bastards or they'll have it up yer bum!"
McCarthy was demonstrating in front of a local pub with a banner focusing on the overturning of the EU loan stating: WE WON'T BE ARSED...VOTE "NO" TO EU BUM DEAL!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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