The King is dead long live the King

Funny story written by lawyer

Tuesday, 4 October 2005


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Is this Elvis's son?

Elvis Presley's death is well documented he stayed up all night on the 16th august 1977. He had entertained friends, played the piano and sang, and even played racquetball in the early morning, just before retiring around 8am. His fiancée, Ginger Alden, was staying with him, but sleeping in a different room.
Most stories conclude that Elvis was sitting on the toilet, nude, and reading. He collapsed. By the time Ginger woke up, Elvis had probably been dead for two or three hours. She found him dead at 2:00pm. The medical examiner's report says that he was found in the dressing room. Most people agree that the circumstances surrounding his death were sanitized for public consumption.
No mention was made in the first coroner's report of the fourteen different types of drugs in Elvis blood stream or of his chronic heart disease due to obesity, but the second coroners report cleared up any shortcomings of the first. That as they say should be that, other than the crackpot theories of Elvis still being alive and having faked his own death, nothing really new has come to light.
Or that was up until the death of a 78 year old former coroner's assistant called Fabian Grey. Now according to Mr Grey's widow, Irene, Fabian assisted in the first autopsy of Elvis. She alleges that he not only assisted but that unknown to the coroner, he actually stole a large quantity of sperm from the king's body using a syringe.
At the time of Elvis's death Mr Grey was in the process of doing his own research into the retention and storage of sperm for later use. The actual equipment that was required to achieve this was kept at Fabians workplace. Sperm has to be stored in extremely cold temperatures (-196 F), but in order to insure that the fewest possible sperm are damaged; the freezing has to be gradual. Mr Grey obviously became an expert at this procedure, so much so that in 1984 he went to work for one of Americas first fertility clinics.
Mrs Grey alleges that her husband was Elvis Presley's no1 fan and that he would have never done anything to hurt the reputation or credibility of his idol. But he was also aware that Elvis had left no male heir. In 1984 Mr Grey set about putting that matter right. Each time that a couple visited the clinic for help in conceiving a child, he would check the woman's details to see how close a fit she was to Elvis's own body type, size and complexion.
Over the years Mrs Grey says that king's sperm was used to father at least 16 children of whom 7 are boys. If this is true, it is highly unlikely that the recipients of the children will ever know. The Childs D.N.A. will never match the fathers as the parents will be aware that they were using sperm donated from another source. The best chance of detection will be a child with an uncanny resemblance to Elvis, but even in these circumstances, it is unlikely that the Presley estate will consent to D.N.A. tests being undertaken.
Lawyers have said that any child fathered by Elvis Presley whilst he was alive or dead and with or without his consent will have a high prospect of making a successful claim against the king's estate. The estate is currently valued at $500 million.
The Presley family have refused to comment but if you do know of a child born post 1984 who bears more than a passing resemblance to Elvis , then maybe just maybe……….

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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