Written by victor nicholas

Sunday, 30 January 2011

image for Chinese Announce New Constitution
Chinese Happy

BEIJING-Chinese President Hu Jintao emphasized the need for cooperation with the U.S. in areas from new energy to space on his visit to Washington this week and took the occasion to announce the unveiling of a new constitution which he says will address ongoing concerns regarding human rights in China.

1. Everyone have right to speak write kind words great country China

2. Everyone has right to jail without accusation

3. Everyone have right to prison stay without conviction

4. Everyone has right to public private execution

5. Everyone have right to false witness against neighbor or family in defense of great country China

6. Everyone has right be beaten truncheons or water cannon target at public festivities big open areas

7. Everyone have right to get rich work long time low pay at comfortable state factories home-like setting

8. Everyone has right to represent great county China at Olympics for glory

9. Everyone has right to confess crimes before being held down, covered with melted cheese and eaten by obese Americans with pointy teeth

Hu called the present U.S. constitution a "product of the past" and highlighted moves to turn the new Chinese constitution into a global constitution.

"We both stand to gain from a sound China-U.S. relationship, and lose from confrontation," Hu said in written answers to questions from The International Press.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: China

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