A man masquerading as an English teacher in the Thai capital of Bangkok had the shock of his life at the weekend, when he found that, on visiting the two most popular doughnut outlets in the city, Mister Donut and Dunkin' Donuts, he was unable to secure the purchase of a good, hot cup of tea.
Moys Kenwood, 37, had found himself in the Central Pinklao department store at lunchtime on Saturday, and, having already eaten a Shredded Pork with Mayonnaise sandwich, and a packet of Lays Original flavour crisps, had decided to wash it all down with a Chocolate Butternut Ring and a cup of tea.
He marched into the ground floor outlet of Mister Donut, only to be met with a blank stare at the mere mention of the traditional English drink, and fared no better after he traversed the footbridge in an attempt to order the very same beverage at the Major Cineplex Centre's Dunkin' Donuts.
Staff there told him that, as Michael Palin told John Cleese in the Monty Python Cheese Shop sketch, when Cleese asks for Cheddar:
"There isn't much call for it round here, Sir."
Livid, Kenwood boarded a bus for home, and on reaching his condo, proceeded to boil the kettle himself, and to make not one, but two cups of freshly-brewed tea using Yorkshire Tea teabags. Said Kenwood:
"I was horrified. It's unbelievable that a man can't buy a cup of tea in a doughnut shop, and that he is expected to put up with that clarted-up South American muck."