Written by Kaleepeare

Wednesday, 13 October 2010

I am the real Laden thunder the Laden in a recent video clip sent to this reporter's office a couple of days back. The clipping, the quality of which is not very good shows a middle aged man wearing a heavy turban on his rather thin bony head and with a long flowing beard which could easily reach his navel.He wears an Arabic kaftan and seems to be carrying an advanced model of an assault rifle.

"I am the real Laden," he thunders in a shrill voice- "the top Al Qaida man, who carries a thirty million dollars reward on his head. The man these filthy westerners dread ! Not that man who claims to be the real one. I did not steal anyone's identity. In fact it was him that stole my original certificates when I had gone on a holy pilgrimage..."

An interruption seems to take place here because the video is quite blurred here and all it shows is a few shadows having some sort of a scuffle. A scream and the video runs on for a few seconds and what do you suppose comes on the screen?

A man , his hair dishevelled and clothes torn. He is bleeding at places and behold ! He carries a gun in one hand and a false beard in the other!

"See for yourself," he proclaims triumphantly-" the false beard of the imposter who was claiming to be me ! The liar, may He burn his soul for eternity. "

There are shouts of "Holy jehad..We'll take over America and Europe..Down with the enemies of Purdah.."

The clipping ends here and on comes a message - Wait for the real Laden's next sermon.

This reporter examined the packet closely but couldn't find much except that it carried postage stamps of six or seven countries and the legible ones were from the Hindu Kush Postoffice,the Hawaiian Isles, Nicaragua, Columbia and Bamiyan.

There's a dilemma - which of the so many Ladens is the real one? The one who was in this clip or the one who had earlier claimed to be the original Laden?

The security chief of my town has seized the video CD and has sent it to the forensic lab for a thorough examination.

The results shall decide...

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Osama Bin Laden




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