Reports from above indicate that stories of wild sex with 72 virgins, promised by radical Islamic clerics as a reward for those who blow themselves and others up for the cause of Allah, have come to a halt because of a tertiary boycott by virgins who complain that these guys can't f..k their way out of a wet paper bag.
By definition, a true and pure virgin should not have had any previous sexual experience. So for them to make such an incendiary claim might seem hypocritical. Many though have been dreaming of being deflowered since reaching puberty. Some claim, like President Clinton, that only vaginal sex counts against them and have been somewhat active doing oral sex; some even talk about taking a shot or two in the buttock region, just for the fun of it.
In any event, when these erstwhile heroes reach the pearly gates, they are not being warmly welcomed by the virgin community. However, unions leaders for both groups have been attempting to bridge this problem by allowing toothless non-virgins to teach (Hosing 101) to the growing number of restless martyrs looking for their promised reward.
More to follow........
