South Korea Bans Kim Jong il Cameron Diaz Julia Roberts Websites

Funny story written by Karen Fish

Monday, 30 August 2010

While Americans have been obsessing over a tiny little baby teeny weeny oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico the Korean Peninsula has been like a nuclear powder keg ready to blow up into Nuclear World War III. World War I was caused by "The shot heard round the world", the United States went bankrupt over 19 guys with box cutters and now blocked computer searches inside South Korea for Kim Jong il, Cameron Diaz and Julia Roberts threaten to set the Korean Peninsula ablaze. Prepare for "The click heard round the world" to ignite World War III.

Pharmaceutical companies have not found a cure for the AIDS virus, the Herpes Virus, the Genital Wart Cancer causing virus, bed bugs, or computer viruses because they spent all their money lobbying to kill the public option. Anti Virus companies AVG and McAfee just released their annual list of most dangerous celebrities to search for on the internet and Cameron Diaz and Julia Roberts topped the list. Turkey and Russia topped the list of most dangerous countries to search from. Facebook and Twitter were of particular cause for concern.

According to AVG McAfee anyone searching for articles, websites, pictures, or videos of Cameron Diaz or Julia Roberts is in extreme danger of becoming infected with a severe incurable virus. Kim Jong il asked Madeline Albright, Bill Clinton and Jimmy Carter for their email addresses because he spends a lot of time on the internet. This is why Kim Jong il issues daily threats of Nuclear Holy War against South Korea, so that he can read about himself on the internet. He also finds it helpful to lure American Blonde Anna Nicole Smith look alikes to his numerous palaces who have never heard of him.

Kim Jong il's nuclear program did not ignite hostilities. Kim Jong il nuclear arming Pakistan, Iran and Syria did not ignite hostilities. Kim Jong il walking away from the 6 party nuclear talks did not ignite hostilities. Kim Jong il sinking the South Korean Warship Cheonan did not ignite hostilities. US South Korean Naval exercises did not ignite hostilies. However now there is a serious conflict which will ignite hotilities. The parties have now gone past the point of no return.

This month the country of North Korea joined YouTube and Twitter. The North Korean Twitter account "Uriminzok" gained 10,000 followers in one week with just 30 tweets praising Kim Jong il and lambasting South Korea and the United States for their joint Naval drill. Today Seoul South Korea blocked both the North Korea YouTube and Twitter accounts from being accessed in South Korea, while also congratualting Michelle Wie for her victory in the CN Canadian Open.

Kim Jong il responded to having his YouTube and Twitter accounts blocked by promising a Nuclear Holy War upon South Korea, Japan and the United States. Kim Jong il's website "Uriminzokkiri", which opened the YouTube and Twitter accounts accused South Korean President Lee Myung-bak of triggering hostilities between the countries.

Kim's "Uriminzokkiri" website said today, "It is clear that the South Korean Lee Myung-bak administration is a group of traitors against unification, and does not want to improve inter-Korean relations or even wish for dialogue and co-operation. We invite our South Korean brothers and sisters to click on these beautiful pictures and videos of Cameron Diaz and Julia Roberts delivered to us last week by American President Jimmy Carter, along with the delicious boxes of Planters Peanuts."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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