"Hags for John" - a staunchly Republican group of toothless old geriatric virgins posed for a nude calendar to raise funds for their guy "Crazy" John McCain - the man who almost became Prez.
Miss January - Droopy-Tits Tessa flashed her gums as she bared it all under the heading:
"He's the best John I ever had"
96-year old Saggy-boobs Barbie - a childhood friend of Crazy John's mother, posed - arthritic thumbs up - under the caption:
"I taught John all about sex in 1929"
89-year old Vietnamese immigrant Flat-chest Pattycake Vu proudly displayed her emaciated bod under a large flag boasting:
"I was his favorite French maid at the Hanoi Hilton"
Crazy John told the Cheerleading News Network:
"I love these gals. I'm doing this for them. They make it all worthwhile - waking up in the morning, forgetting who I am...it's all good fun."
Polls show Crazy John has overtaken the lead from his opponent.