In a daring move to help his beleaguered troops out of their dire predicament in Afghanistan, Supreme Allied Commander Barack Obama decreed that NATO troops be equipped with the infamous Vuvuzela in place of the standard assault rifle.
White House Spokesperson Robert Gibbs, wearing a fluorescent tie of a previously unknown color that falls between hot pink and ultra neon green, was staunch in his defense of the move. "Barack was watching the World Cup, as we all are," said Gibbs, "and the answer to our troubles in Afghanistan suddenly came to him. Unusual wars and unusual times call for unusual methods. Bush sent troop after troop over there equipped with assault rifle after assault rifle. Barack thinks that the Vuvuzela could very well be the answer we're looking for."
Embedded ABC television news reporter George Stephanopoulos, sent into the fray with the first Americans armed only with Vuvuzelas, has not been heard from since last night when his platoon encountered loud explosions. The world is anxiously awaiting words of a fantastic victory for Humanity.
