Faced with one fiasco after another, Tony Haywood, CEO of British Petroleum, has announced his retirement from the company that has gooed up the Gulf of Mexico.
At the noon conference, held at his palatial estate in Switzerland, Mr. Haywood stated that he is abandoning the corporate world of fame and fortune, eschewing further fame and glory, and seeking a more tranquil, meditative life.
"I am joining the monks at the monastery of Saint Ramon Novarro deep in the canyons of the Pyrenees Mountains," he declared.
"I will pray, reflect, and meditate. I will no longer have anything to do oil and its miseries except to massage it into the supple bodies of my Christian brothers during Vespers."
