Israel's New Secret Weapon in Gaza Blockade

Funny story written by dimothy

Tuesday, 8 June 2010

image for Israel's New Secret Weapon in Gaza Blockade
A Barrel from the Factory Where the New Weapon is Produced

Just one week after its attack on the Gaza flotilla Israel unleashed a controversial new weapon to stop more ships challenging its blockade - Old Spice cologne.

Just before 01:00 GMT an Israeli chinook sprayed 40 litres of the stuff over the passangers and crew of the latest blockade runner: the SS Media-Savii. The result? All aboard surrendered within 2 minutes and vowed not to be involved in the conflict ever again.

One passenger described the scene:

"They warned us to leave and we expected live ammunition but this was 1000 times worse. People were running in all directions, coughing and spluttering and even throwing themselves overboard. No civilised nation would have resorted to this!"

From the Israelis there was defensiveness:

"Our men didn't want to do this, they only responded to extreme provocation. These people make out that they were peaceful but we have video evidence showing that there were bottles of Brut on the ship, which they used to attack and seriously injur our men."

UN Secretary-General, Mr Bank-me-Soon had this to say about the latest development:

"We call on Israel to desist from using these illegal chemcal weapons on innocent protesters. According to our reports 3 tonnes of Old Spice were used in this attack - that's enough to supply over 100 estate agents for a day and is clearly disproportionate. In future their navy should use only milder deterrents - like tear gas."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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