It's true, Little Miss Muffet DID sit on a TUFFET eating her CURDS and WHEY.
There are many hidden messages in the so called nursey rhymes we learned as children. They were written by very sick adults.
For 'tuffet' read 'private parts'. For 'curds and whey' read 'valium and anti-depressants'.
Georgie Porgie had indeed kissed her and made her cry. She was never the same sweet girl after that. She went into therapy and was told to always 'sit on her tuffet' when in mixed company. She was given medications to help her through this traumatic time in her life.
The SPIDER who came and sat down beside her was actually a character from Coronation Street. He hadn't meant to scare her away. He was merely trying to buy some drugs from her. He'd had a tip from the character 'David Platt' (or is that Pratt?) that Miss Muffet was 'dealing'. Well, we ALL know what a lying little toe rag David is. He was hiding behind a tree with that stupid bloody grin on his face, watching it all unfold. Sick sod!
Spider was quite embarassed by he whole incident and climbed a tree in the Red Rec. in protest. Emily Bishop WAS going to join him but cancelled because she had to go and meet with the Vicar of Dibley who was in the process of leaving Dibley and taking over as vicar in Emily's parish. (The vicar has her eye on Ken Barlow).
Toya Battersby, Spiders ex-girlfriend, was busy with another project on t.v. and sent Spider her best wishes using one of Jack Duckworth's pigeons to carry the message as she couldn't afford a stamp.
More to follow as this story unfolds. (Promise!)
