VANCOUVER 2010: Canadians celebrating their brilliant Olympics say the reason for the Brit media's sulky, petulant and un-sportsmanlike response to opening night is because of their "itchy and scratchy unwashed underwear".
As if to confirm Canadian suspicions a new study today has revealed that over half a million Brits only wash their [bed] sheets 3 times a year. Not a very hygienic thing when one already eats, farts and does all sorts of things in old, moldy Brit bedrooms.
Canada's Mrs. Clean said: "I guess its part of their culture - while other parts of the world were bathing regularly Brits still ran around in smelly, filthy bearskins. Can you imagine sleeping alongside 10 million bugs and dust mites every night. Allowing them to take up rent-free residency in your body orifices? And considering the Brit media hardly showers, preferring to sit in 3 inches of water once a week, because their girl-friends refuse to sleep with them otherwise....pheeew!"
The biggest dirty-linen offenders are found in Londonistan...the majority of them disgruntled, hung-over tabloid hacks.
Canadians confused about loutish Brit media behavior are now chalking it up to the poisoned tick-and lice toxins running through their veins.
