Written by CamoDude

Tuesday, 14 September 2004

image for President Bush Threatens Military Action Against Ivan And Any Other Hurricane That Wants A Piece
An unidentified military personnel, pictured above, explaining the military invasion against Hurricane Ivan.

WASHINGTON, D.C.-- Fearing even more damage will be sustained from what seems like a never ending saga of hurricanes, President Bush tried to put worries aside here today and addressed the American public with a plan of action. Many citizens believed this impromptu state of the union address was deemed necessary because of the relentless Hurricane Ivan that may hit Florida and many other states as early as Wednesday. Ivan, a killer blamed for at least 68 deaths in the Caribbean, is threatening to finish what Frances and Charley failed to do.

"Hurricanes are a form of terrorism and they will not continue to scare American citizens as long as I am President of the United States of America," Bush stated. "The U.S. military will bomb these hurricanes out of their sky and bring all rebellious hurricanes to justice," he went on to say. "Hurricanes are cowards and resort to cowardly acts to convey their message."

Bush also went into full detail on how he planned to fund all of this. "With National Guard units already deployed in Florida, I will deploy more units from Alabama, Mississippi, and surrounding states that are anywhere near Hurricane Ivan's track," Bush said. Bush also went as far as saying that he would pull some soldiers from Iraq and Afghanistan if it is deemed necessary. "I will deploy Air National Guard units as well to deliver one, two punches by airstrikes to any hurricanes that want a piece as well."

At that time a member of an unidentified news team asked about the President's Air National Guard service during the Vietnam War Era. Bush immediately switched to a different subject and dodged the question successfully.

"That's not important right now," said George W. "But, what is important is getting these hurricanes off the streets and bringing them to justice." "I'm letting it be known as of right now," Bush went onto say. "Any nation caught harboring or fostering these hurricanes is a terrorist and will be treated as a terrorist as well," he added on.

Many believe with that statement Bush was referring to nations such as: Cuba, Jamaica, and Haiti. It has been known that they have had Ivan within their borders growing stronger preparing for its attack on U.S. soil for days now.

"I think we have all seen what Frances and Charley are capable of," said Bush. "So I ask all American citizens to support this endeavor and wish our troops well," Bush ended.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Topics: Washington, Military

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
104 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more