Igloo #23, Scandahoovia - The Nobel Awards Make Better Living for All (NAMBLA) is reeling under criticism, but this time not for Obama.
"Herta who?", is the cry that is resounding from all over the world, as housewives, homosexuals and nancy boys all scream out their frustration at Danielle Steel once again being passed by.
Lifetime Television spokesperson Mary Sinclair-Hernandez summed it up well in saying, "Herta wrote of oppression? Big deal. Danielle Steel did that over 300 books ago. Heck, we still show the movie made from it every other month. Danielle has out sold everyone but Mao Tse Dong's Little Red Book and the Bible itself, where's her prize?"
While some may point out that Lifetime is biased, as 68% of their total programming comes from movie adaptations of Danielle's work, it is nevertheless true that she really is one of the best selling authors ever.
By some estimates, literally only four people in all of history have outsold her, and one of them was William Shakespeare. Ranked seventh by Wikipedia, Herta Muller (the "winner") would be in about 743,822 place.
While more people have read Danielle Steel's books than exist in half of the nations on Earth combined, Herta's readership has been...shall we say?...lacking. Also, Danielle Steel's literary output so greatly exceeds Herta's that the old joke told in publishing houses is: "What does Danielle Steel call the sum total of Herta's work? A good start on a forward!"
Critics agree with the fan base. While oft times dismissed as a Romance Novel writer, her works are much more often serious journeys into life and relationships and what it means to care and fight for different ideas and situations. No serious critic doubts that there is meat in her novels.
And similarly, no serious critic even knew who Herta was till those who regarded Obama as a great Peace maker named this nameless one.
Danielle Steel has declined to comment, having been busy writing and publishing three novels just in the time since the foolish award was gave out. And it should be noted that just those last three novels will bring more joy and insight into the lives of the people of Earth than Herta and the Nobel Committee have done in the past fifty years.
