Written by Jaggedone

Monday, 19 October 2009

image for Shocking news, Tabloid breakdown! SEX no longer sells newspapers or gets hits on websites!

SEX IS OUT! - Tabloid newspapers and websites are in complete turmoil after sales and hits go plummeting like Apollo 13!

SEX, their Nr.1 selling strategy is no longer a "puller" as tabloid readers escape to the spreadsheets and serious news sites!

Rupert Murdoch, Mark Lowton and other world renowned CEO's have held emergency board meetings to discuss the sudden lack of interest in SEX SCANDALS!

They are begging their scandal reporter/writers to jump on the serious bandwagon and come up with some real heavy headlines to attract their readership back!

Even South Park, Family Man, etc, have gone serious, no more "GAY" or "SEXY" sketches just pure puritan, death, bombings, Obama, George Brown/Bush? Cameron, Putin, financial meltdowns, but no more SEX!

Cause of this "SEX MELTDOWN" are Paris Hilton, Posh Becks, Britney Spears, Madonna, Stephen Gay-telly, etc!

Punters are BORED with the antics of such bum shaking, bone rattling, the sudden dying of Celebs and are now demanding HEAVY, HEAVY, stories and Spoofs!

One positive aspect to come out of this non-sex revolution is that GOD (who?) will be pleased, Mormons, puritan Jews, Fundamental muslims, Mary Whitehouse and GAY catholic priests who can now keep their scandalous behaviour under the cloak, also!

"Hey mate where's my Daily Mirror, Sun, The Star and f**k the Times" thanks Jaggedone!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Topics: Sex

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