Sir Bob Geldof has sensationally announced he is sick of poor nations scrounging from him or asking him to organise charity events for them.
Sir Bob explained "Why d'you think I (beeping) dress like this? Why do you think my (beeping) hairs like this? Do you think I like it? Its so that those sets of scrounging beggars leave me alone!" Not finished with his shocking outburst he went on to say " I mean come on…. I hang around with a right set of arrogant idiots, U2 - I mean Bono for godssake, Midge Ure and Bill Clinton, do you think I want to?! No again it's a ploy to stop people begging from me and begging me to organise charity events God I've felt like this since the nineties!".
I asked Sir bob if he had felt like this for so long why he had organised Live 8, he replied "its like when your partner always asks you to do something, the washing up say, you finally do it but do a really bad job and then hopefully you'll never be asked to do it again, that's why I hired Ricky Gervais, Madonna and let U2 release some doves I knew it was shite its what I wanted!"
So another 1st: I finally uncover the real reason Live 8 was so shockingly bad.