Workers at the famous Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory went on strike this morning due to the recent announcement that Mr Wonka is planning on replacing the traditional Umpa Lumpa's with a newly developed strain of Super Umpa Lumpas.
Our inside source has revealed that the new strain of Super Umpa Lumpa's apparently have 7 fingers on each hand which will increase their productivity from 1,300 Willy Wonka bars an hour to just short of 1,800 Wonka Bars an hour. Another benefit which has been revealed is that the Super Umpa Lumpas have natural orange skin, unlike the traditional Umpa Lumpa who go through 3 bottles of Johnsons Holiday Skin a week.
Mr Wonka released this statement this afternoon 'In this current economic downfall times are extremely hard. We at the Wonkers Factory are having to do every thing within our power to cut unnecessary costs. The traditional Umpa Lumpas use at least 3 bottles of fake tan a week which equates to around £9.99 a week per Umpa Lumpa, which the new Super Umpa Lumpa don't need, which will drastically cut costs at the factory to help us pull through this recession'.
We at Spoof managed to get an exclusive interview with the Spokesman of the U.L.E.R Group (Umpa Lumpa's Equal Rights) he had this to say. 'We have been nothing but loyal to Mr Wanka, sorry Wonka. We have given him nothing but love and even a number one hit in the charts 'Umpa Lumpa Dumpetty Doo' which all proceeds from were donated to the Wonka Group. We are not just Singing, Dancing, Orange Midgets freaks, we have feelings too'. He later detailed that 'We don't care how long it takes, WE WANT JUSTICE!'.
