Written by Breeze

Friday, 1 December 2006

image for Wonka convicted of Oompaloompa manslaughter
Wonka will be swapping his trademark purple top hat for something with arrows on

Popular businessman Willy Wonka was beginning a two year stretch behind bars yesterday after a judge found him guilty of manslaughter.

The mercurial confectionery maker had been charged with causing the death of 33 year old Oompaloompan, Biggy Snuffles, in a tragic accident at his factory in June.

Mr Snuffles died after he fell into a river of chocolate and drowned. His family were in court to hear the verdict and his father told reporters,

"Obviously we are pleased that Wonka is going down. It's incredible that his factory was operating without even the most basic of safety checks. However the family feel that two years is just not long enough, Biggy was a larger than life character and we will miss him."

Mr Wonka's defence had told the court that Mr Snuffles had been drinking heavily on the day of the accident. This was dismissed however when a toxicology report concluded that Mr Snuffle's high blood/alcohol level could have been because he had been working in the wine gum department that morning.

Mr Snuffles had been working in Britain for eighteen months and left a wife and two children.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
51 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more