Northern European tourists returning from their holidays in Southern Europe, Asia or Africa have been hit by the deadly disease, the BLACK DEATH PLAGUE!
This disease lurks on disgustingly filthy motorway toilets, public toilets in general, unhygienic swimming pools, dirty restaurant/cafe toilets, well just about everywhere where people leave their filth actually!
Northern European countries proud of their hygienic standards warn their inhabitants about travelling to hotter climates where unfortunately in such countries the hygienic standards are pretty "CRAP-PEE" literally speaking!
Blocked bogs, left-over floating turds, stinking used WC paper, the revolting stench of urine + general filth in abundance!
The BLACK DEATH PLAGUE bugs love these environments, lavish the thought of feeding on revolting human waste and boy do they thrive!
Overfilled rubbish containers smouldering in 35 degrees heat are also a certain cause of the dreaded plague, thick tourists throwing away their unwanted food rests, used condoms, etc! The bugs just love em!
Hygienic standards are rapidly deteriorating in such countries due to lack of infra - structure investments, the recession and general apathy, now the "SHIT" has really hit the fan, and the deathly plague is spreading!
Info about "Swine Flu" and other mild epidemics was in abundance reaching nonsensical, hysterical levels, but now the real "Death Bug" has arrived!
Medical authorities are advising, burning all clothes, vehicles generally, scrubbing the kids with disinfectant or chloride and avoiding contact with neighbours who were sensible enough to stay at home, scary!
Meanwhile the UN and WHO has sent in troops on a "Bog" cleaning exercise in the hope that the "BLACK DEATH PLAGUE" can be confined to the shitholes from where it first came from!
Any tourist confronted by such revolting "Crapping Holes" are advised to cross their legs, run for the woods and relieve themselves amongst nature, aagh!
Bon Apetit!
