Paris, FRANCE - Beaubidet, maker of French bidet products, was seen stocking shelves with a new product featuring a compartment to add "freshener" powders. Much like a washing machine that has a compartment for soap powder, the new bidet comes with claims of "freshness that lasts all day".
The product comes with 100 packets of white power, labeled "freshener". We sent some of these powders to the Bureau National de la Merde here in France for analysis. The lab report lists aspartame as constituting 97.3 percent of the powder, with the rest banana oil, an ester with industrial uses as well.
Our independent testing laboratories are checking for side effects of using the bidet with the freshener powders. The only thing that has showed up so far is the tendency to hallucinate if the aspartame is retained for long periods of time. It may be no coincidence that the package pictures strange hallucinogenic designs.
So far, the product is flying off the shelves at the local stores downtown here.
