Gordon Bennet, an American tourist from Hackensack, New Jersey today told journalists in his home town that a recent trip to London was a humiliating experience.
"I wasn't made welcome at all," Bennet said. "I was in a pub and some guy spilled his beer and blamed me for it. He said my name, right out loud like it was some kind of curse. But I was nowhere near him when it happened.
"Another time we were walking down the street and this guy stepped in dog poop. He blamed me for it! I mean, I didn't do a doo-doo on the sidewalk, so why's he blaming me?"
Bennet went on to claim that he heard the same curse a hundred times, and that it was hurtful.
A cunning linguist who happened to be present, pointed out that there were differences between American English, and English, like what it is spoken by the English. Innit.
"People called me 'mate' too," Bennet complained. "Although I've never been in the navy."
More linguistic ludicrousness as we get it.