Air France - $24,000 Comp. - In Depth Analysis - How Did They Arrive At That Figure?

Funny story written by Wire Piddle

Saturday, 20 June 2009

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Air France Offers Compensation

Paris, France - Air France will offers victims of Air France 447 each $24,000 US. In analyzing how the corporation came to that figure, a company communications representative gave the following breakdown.

"When executives went about calculating the total compensation package to be offered to victims of the flight, they realized that each life is precious; "how can you put a dollar figure on that?" was the prevalent attitude. As well, it was imperative that the offer be reasonable to reflect the interests of both the victims and the shareholders, a terrific juggling act I might add."

"It was then decided that each victim would be awarded $1,000 for every warning message that was relayed from the stricken plane to head office during it's demise. There were 24 warning messages, hence, $24,000 given to each victim. It's as simple as that. For every message, or every 'nail in the coffin' as some relatives of the victims have described, $1,000."

"$24,000 is a fairly significant amount if you consider that you could probably go around the world twice for that price, provided you're travel agent can find you the hidden deals...hehehe."

"Another way to look at it is $1,000 for every major time zone on earth, provided you leave out Tonga as they don't count, ..oh..and those silly 1/2 jumps as well. Or the number of miles it is to fly around the earth at the equator, provided you don't have to deviate for a nasty storm over the Atlantic...hehehe. So you see, a lot of thought has gone into this. Really."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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