Nostradamus Predicted Bank Crash/Recession

Written by Bluebella

Wednesday, 22 April 2009

image for Nostradamus Predicted Bank Crash/Recession
Nostradamus: a bit of a know-it-all

Bordeaux, France - Literary interpreters are extremely excited about the discovery of three new Nostradamus quatrains that predict the fall of the banks, the central London protestors and unemployment out of control, as set out below, with translations underneath.

Century 13, Quatrain K.1.
Oh ye money man with piggy face
Thy will be liquidised to squish and mud
Will bring down and topple all beneath it
Great big fat pension forever more
People not like you much, creep.

This first verse is so obviously an indication to Sir Fred Goodwin, hence the reference to the "piggy face" or in modern terms: piggy banker. The "liquidised" sentence is a reference to Sir Fred losing his job and bringing everyone in the country down with him. He then receives a very large pension, much to the chagrin of all the people.

Century 13, Quatrain K.2
Scruffy men with stink underarms
Will rampage the streets of the big old crowded city
Smash the windows and the boxes with pictures
Authority man kill man of protest with bad smell
Compensation, compensation, oh compensation!

This verse is so obviously a reference to the central London anarchists/protestors ("scruffy men who smell"). It clearly outlines how they ran through the streets of London, smashed some windows and a couple of TVs. It then goes on to say that a policeman will kill one of the protestors. What is truly amazing is that Nostradamus predicted that one of the anarchists would then sue the Metropolitan Police Force.

Century 13, Quatrain K.3
The dole seems looming ahead for all
And Primark rule the land from coast to coast
Child have child for benefit of self
Chubby kilted man with caterpillar on forehead says not to fear
But the men and the bitches look for a lie

The third verse refers to people losing their jobs and having to go on unemployment benefits. People then become so poor that they purchase all their items of clothing from Primark and teenagers have babies to claim benefits.

The "chubby kilted man" is a reference to Prime Minister Gordon Brown who is fat, Scottish and has very thick eyebrows. The last sentence outlines how men and women alike do not believe a word the fat Scottish bastard says.

The new quatrains are currently circulating around the internet attracting great interest and gasps of awe from all over the country, and indeed, the world. What's next? We ask. The world can only wait with baited breath for the discovery of further quatrains.

Nostradamus is 537 and dead.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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