The New Zealand Geographic Board today announced its discovery that the North and South Islands of New Zealand had been conducting themselves with a lack of appropriate formality.
Said Chairman Don Grant, "We were shocked to discover that the North Island has been referring to itself merely by a nickname. Our dismay was increased when it was revealed that the South Island has been behaving similarly."
Dr Grant denounced this appalling lack of manners and made further disparaging comment on the North Island's slouched posture and disconcerting habit of farting loudly in public.
The New Zealand Geographic Board intends to compel the two errant islands to comport themselves with appropriate formality in future.
"We will be consulting with various groups on the subject of providing "Northey" and "Souzza" with titles befitting their status. We hope to have the consultation completed in time for the Queen's New Year's Honours list.