New York - Famed child toy Mr. Potato Head has spoken up against the medical community and recent advances in human transplants claiming he was the first to have a total face transplant.
"Well it was a long time ago yet I remember it as if it was yesterday."
"It started with a little girl named Melissa, yes I am sure it was a Melissa, who took my nose off and replaced it with an ear."
"Then Bobby, who was the birthday boy, saucily placed a moustache under the ear."
"Bobby's little sister Margaret, showing wisdom beyond her years, had the good sense to place a porkpie hat on top of my head."
"Then their mother joined the fun and put an eye where my ear used be smearing some icing from the cake on my cheek by mistake."
"This was only the start. It's happened many more times since then."
"I was too ashamed to speak up until now."