Written by shea lo

Saturday, 21 February 2009

image for Unknown Bollywood director makes "Slumdog" rip-off; Nauseating 'Slum-God Billionaire' hits Mumbai theatres
slum-god billionaire on the move

MUMBAI - Bollywood directors are known for shamelessly ripping off Hollywood story lines and re-packaging them into 3-hour ridiculous song-and-dance packages guaranteed to bring on world class migraines.

In fact, ever since the success of Danny Boyle's "Slumdog Millionaire" Bollywood celebrities have had their knickers in a knot. Not to be outdone, a so-called director [known to the cops as having underworld links] has financed a hastily produced gargantuan nightmare titled "Slum-god Billionaire".

Interviewed at his palatial highrise mansion overlooking the Dharavi slums where "Slumdog Millionaire" was filmed, director Big Boss Chorwala angrily denied claims of plagiarism swearing: "Whyfor you are challenge me? I had idea oph Slum-god Billionaire picture before that Boyle-wala".

When confronted about the strange co-incidence of his film's title, Mr. Chor yawned, scratched his armpits and said "Arre Yaar...Mumbai eej phull oph slum-wallahs who are becoming god-wallahs and taking all yewer monies then they are becoming Number Vun billionaire-wallahs. Eet eej my life ishtory!

"See I am vanting to show real side oph Eendeeya - we are not haveeng slums. Boyle-saab is only talkeeng about lakhpati but we are having too many crorepati in India.

"So that eej how I am coming up weeth thees too-good titul no? My mind-blowing fillum is cent per cent going to vin Oskar also - I am threatening lots oph peepul already"

The film has been strongly condemned by critics as the worst case of blatant plagiarism imaginable - featuring every disgruntled, extorted Bollywood male celebrity (beholden to Mr. Chor) howling awful love songs to cardboard moon cutouts while plump, overfed sirens of yesteryear jiggle juicily around plastic palm trees set in the Swiss Alps.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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