(Vatican City) Pope Benedict XVI made a sharp turn to the Left and gave his blessing to Communism. The Pope said Capitalism was "evil from start to finish" and it was time to begin a New World Order. The Pope declared Jesus was the world's first Communist. He named Karl Marx as a saint. The church was renamed as the Roman Communist Church and Vatican City was declared a People's Republic.
"Peoples of the world, unite! Join our Glorious Revolution! Fight the running dog Capitalists! Fight the running dog Protestants! Communion with Christ is the same as Communism. The Church is Red!" trumpeted the pontiff from his papal balcony in the Peoples Republic of Vatican City.
The surprise decision was hailed in Communist capitals around the world. President Hu in China applauded the decision and promised 1.2 billion converts to the Church.
"The glories of Christ and the glories of Marx are not incompatible." said President Hu. "Communists now believe Marx was misquoted about religion. He only meant to say that Protestantism was the opium of the people. Protestantism must be destroyed!" demanded the president.
Pope Benedict XVI also called for a new crusade, a crusade against Capitalism and Protestantism. He also boasted the Peoples Republic of Vatican City has nuclear weapons and will use them "when Christ tells me too."
The pontiff and the Communist leaders will soon issue a joint communique. The communique is expected to list the nations in the 'Axis of Devils'. The United States will be listed as the top devil. The leaders will pledge to use 'any means necessary' to erase Capitalism and Protestantism from the world forever.
