Written by Gurmeet Mattu

Tuesday, 6 January 2009

image for Wife Abducted By Aliens Says Husband

Police have rejected the claims of a local man that his wife has been kidnapped by aliens.

Mr. Colin 'Sparky' Johnson, a gas fitter, had told police that he had seen his wife disappearing down the road outside his house in Huddersfield, Yorkshire, on a strange vehicle with a strange looking creature. "I was shocked," admitted Johnson, "Mabel and I have been married for eight years and I can't see what aliens would want with her, she's a lousy cook and has big feet."

But police sergeant, Roger Dubious said, "We have our doubts about this claim. The vehicle Mr Johnson claims to have seen was a VW trike, similar to the one owned by Alf Tupper, a Star Trek fan who liked to dress as a Klingon, and who worked as a barman at the Dead Dog pub where Mrs Johnson was a regular."

"What are they implying?" Mr Johnson asked, when told of the police response. "My Mabel would never run away with that big tosser, Alf Tupper. She loved me and my stamp collection and hated science fiction. No, it was abduction, probably with a view to aliens breeding with Earth women. They're dead keen on that, I saw it on TV."

"Police enquiries are not continuing," Sgt Dubious said.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Aliens, Abduction

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