Ginga Virus - Goes Global

Funny story written by jeremy griffiths

Sunday, 30 November 2008

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The Ginga Virus (Viraerusticus) which causes hair to turn red is rampant. The normal 4.765% proportion of the population who are redheaded has spiralled to a known 70% plus. Exact figures could be higher as many do not admit to using hair dye.

A decrease in the ozone layer has meant that normal regulatory environmental controls which keep the virus in check have now disappeared. It has long been known that the "default" colour for human hair is red. Over thousands of years mutations from red have evolved, the virus however strips away the colour from hair leaving it in its "natural" base colour.

In a press release this week Health officials have tried to reassure the public, they point out that Danes are predominantly red-headed, and "apart from a little light rape and pillage many centuries ago, are pretty much like you and me".

The only major reaction so far has come from Salem USA where locals are being re-educated to reduce the number of burnings of heretics at the stake.

The youth of South Korea are however delighted, they have spent a large part of that country's GDP in recent years on red hair dye. "We look forward to them now spending on something more sustainable, such as LG flat screen TV's", said deputy premier Li Soupcon Lip.

Environmental groups, concerned by the tenfold increse in hair dye products, have urged the the public to "embrace their redness". An intensive TV campaign starts soon with the theme "Ginga is Good!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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