The League Of Onomasticon Propagation (LOOP) consisting of leading Linguistic Theoreticians and Academics issued a press release last Friday that was not published by any news service, due to an unfortunate and endless repetition of the Headline.
Thousands of article submission systems were hopelessly locked-up with the unending strings of repetitive phrases, preventing the timely release of all the world's news, politics, entertainment, health, travel, current affairs and human interest stories for a period exceeding 36 hours. After physically pulling the plug on every submission server in the world and rebooting, the international IT community sent representatives to the PR department of LOOP to beat their staff to death with reams of complaint printouts. Two full-time public relations specialists and an unknown number of un-paid interns are believed dead.
Approximately 400 additional deaths have been reported from runaway effects of inane news withdrawal. Almost 200 of those deaths were specifically related to severe brain cramps of sufferers desperately conducting fruitless news searches of something called "Brangelina" - a term known, apparently, only to the previously undefined Checkout-Aisle Subculture.
AP, Reuters and the NYTimes have banned PR submissions by LOOP for the foreseeable future.
