Written by IN SEINE

Sunday, 5 October 2008

image for Pope accused of Drink Driving
Ratzinger: a driven man

News has emerged today that Pope Benedict XVI was once accused of drink driving. Back in 1972 in Berlin, a young Cardinal Josef Ratzinger was driving his VW Beetle in a noticeably erratic manner.

In Seine News interviewed Heinz von Ketchup, the police officer who stopped his Holiness.

Von Ketchup said; "I was following zis tatty weiss beetle through Von Goebelstrasse and it vas swerving all over ze place and so I stopped him and I said "I suspect you of drink driving."

A man in a bright red dress and wild, staring eyes said; "Do you know who I am?"

"He showed me some Holy orders and told me he was Cardinal, Josef Ratzinger."

"I vas amazed at stopping the ze future Pope himself. and so all I could say is; "Sorry your Holiness, but I still think you're driving under the influence"

"Nein zir!" he said.

"Vell vos ist dat Zere?" I said pointing at ze bottle of wine on the passenger seat.

"Oh, it's a bottle of Holy water I'm taking for a baptism service." he told me.

"I vas not convinced and asked for ze bottle. He gave me ze bottle as I was sure he vas not telling ze truth."

As I popped ze cork, a rich aroma of grapes filled the air I said; "This is'nt water, it's wine."

"GOOD LORD! He's done it again!" he said.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Topics: Pope, DUI




Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
56 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more