Written by Marshabar

Monday, 22 September 2008

image for Barack Obama's Sexy Diary Turns Up Under Podium
Barack Obama Pondering His Next Speech

It was all over the blogosphere today that Barack Obama's Diary turned up when a high school janitor was moving a podium recently.

He sold the diary for an undisclosed sum to a mysterious chain smoking man in a gray trench coat. The janitor who prefers to remain nameless claims the mystery man had been lurking around the campus for days before the diary was found.

The Obama team is busy trying to locate the person who bought Obama's missing diary. They have contacted the Department of Justice to investigate the matter.

Only one entry from the diary has so far been published on the internet. It appears to be a speech Obama written by Obama.

We have published the complete entry below.

Dear uh Diary,

I'm going to use you Dear Diary to write my speech. Hope you like it:

Uh uhh uh, Thank you friends, uh, yes thank you, uh uhh that's right, that's right, uh, yes uh uhh <pause> Thank you, friends. uh That's enough now, that's enough now. uh uh uhhh okay, I'm glad to see you're uh fired up though. <pause>

How about that John McCain? <pause> How about that eekonomik plan? huh huh yes, how about that . . . The man has admitted he doesn't know anything about economics. Now he expects America to buy this plan to give money to the uh rich and take the uh uhh uhhh uh bread out of the poor cupboards? <pause> No, friends, no uh uh we won't go for John McCain's plan, uh we don't need eight more years of the same. No, no, NO McPain huh huh <pause> You know uh you can put uh uh lipstick on uh uh uhhh uh a pig, but it's still a pig. <pause>

Now we're going to uh change Washington. huh huh We're going to make government coool again. <pause> <pause> <pause> Yes uh cooool again. <pause> That's what we'll do when we get to Washington. We'll clean it up. We're going to cut taxes for 95% of Americans. We're going to enact a stimulus package that will put money in your pockets. huh huh <pause> And everyone will have health insurance. huh huh <pause> And everyone will have jobs. huh huh <pause> And we'll tax the rich. huh huh It's fair. It's only fair It's time for American to be fair. huh huh <pause>

Yes, yes we uh uh uhhh can! No more McSame! uh uhh Time for change. uh uhh uh Change we can believe in, friends. uh uh We can do it huh huh <pause>

Thank you, friends. Thank you friends. <pause>

Well Dear Diary,

How do you like that? Powerful, huh?

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Barack Obama

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