Georgia Plans New Offensive

Funny story written by Clifford Rutley

Sunday, 17 August 2008

image for Georgia Plans New Offensive
The Future.

'Once the Russians withdraw, we'll go in again,' Georgian president Mik 'Heil' Saakashavilli told his mates in the western media as he started to chew his tie like a mental health patient. 'Then, if Russia comes to the aid of its ally South Ossetia, we'll cry bloody murder again and tell everyone that the evil Russians are attacking us again.'

George Bush, Rupert Murdock and other propaganda and western media kings are backing Saakashavilli's plans.

'After all,' Bush told us. 'We can't have Russia flooding the markets with cheap oil, after we've illegally invaded a number of countries ourselves, to secure what we thought were the world's largest supplies of it. I mean, why the hell did we start this fake war on terror anyway - especially if Russia was going to outsmart us with all its new found oil.'

David Rockefeller is also annoyed at Russia for defending its allies. 'Me and the rest of us oil monopoly kings are scared by this. We've spent years trying to buy up every oil field and refinery in the world to create artificial scarcity and charge more for less of it. Now Russia comes along and finds more oil than the whole of the Middle East put together. This is a travesty! All our carefully laid plans have gone up in smoke. I hope Georgia attacks South Ossetia again and give us the excuse to start World War Three if Russia dares to come to the aid of its allies, who have been independent from Georgia since 1991.'

Russian president Vladimir Putin laughed at the hypocrisy. 'They invade Iraq who had nothing to do with 911 and had no weapons of mass destruction and they call us devils for helping our allies after Georgia attacked. Bring it on George Bush and pals - we've got nukes too!'

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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