Barack Obama is not really coloured, it was claimed today.
According to sources Obama is really a fair haired, white man from Mississippi who uses hair dye and fake tan as he believes the time is now right for a coloured man to enter the White House.
Our source claims that Obama regularly reverts back to his original appearance so that he can browse shopping malls and loiter around sex shops unrecognised.
His real name is Henry Wilberforce Wilker V11 and he comes from a long line of distinguished land owners who produced cotton throughout the 19th century.
His sister, Sissy Wilker, said today " Henry always wanted to be special. At school he would always wear pink frocks as he wanted to be different. In the early nighties he created a female character known as K.D Lang, a lesbian singer, but he got bored with that character so faded her out. He also was Max Headroom, Paula Yates and the dark haired kid in Bros.It comes as no surprise that our Henry has now reinvented himself as Barack Obama".
Hillary Clinton said " Interesting, that would explain the brown stains on my cream sofa. I had thought Obama had been caught short on my couch but it could have been fake tan".
The FBI are investigating.
