Drugs company responds to teenagers getting high of flu medicine

Funny story written by Ross Douglas

Tuesday, 4 May 2004

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Slaxo Sithkline has announced changes to the labelling on bottles of flu medicine after an American Medical Association survey showed that young people use certain products to get high.

In a statement to The Spoof a spokesperson for Slaxo Sithkline said "Following the AMAs guidelines we have taken steps to properly warn the nations youth of the dangers of exceeding the recommended dosage."

When questioned by our reporter as to whether informative facts were to be used the spokesperson said "After consulting the AMA and the government we have decided to use warnings to scare kids into not abusing our products."

When our reporter asked an official from the US government if it was wise to use fear mongering instead of rational information and useful facts the official stated "The government think it is always best to use fear tactics when dealing with drug abuse. Just look at how well the war on cannabis is going using scare tactics."

The warnings to be printed are said to include
"Exceeding the stated dose will make you paranoid."
"Exceeding the stated dose will cause poor hygene."
"Exceeding the stated dose will make you unattractive to members of the opposite sex."
"Exceeding the stated dose will make you incontinent."
"Exceeding the stated dose will give you brain damage."

When The Spoof conducted an online study into whether parents think this was a good idea 25% said they thought it was, 10% thought it was a bad idea, 15% were undecided, 45% thought they should possibly try the products to see if there really was any harm in doing it in the first place and 5% were too stoned to answer.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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