Saddam Given "Time Out" Until He Cooperates

Funny story written by Dan Bristol

Monday, 26 April 2004

image for Saddam Given "Time Out" Until He Cooperates
Saddam Hussein, On His Way to Bed Without Any Supper

Guantanamo Bay, Cuba -- Former Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein was given a "time out" and made to stand in the corner by his captors today until he cooperates with intelligence officers appointed to his case.

Graham Chopsworthy, 47, of the Central Intelligence Agency told reporters to day that "Saddam has been a very, very naughty boy and he can't come out to play until he tells us where he hid the weapons of mass destruction."

Hussein, who has reportedly been playing mind-games with his captors, flew into a temper tantrum when told he would have to stand in the corner, stamping his feet and making repeated cries of, "But I don' wanna!"

The former dictator was also deprived of his TV privileges for the remainder of this week and sent to bed without any supper, sources said.

"We've tried everything we can think of with that young man," said Chopsworthy. "Bottom line is, dictators don't get a lot of structure, so they tend to exhibit a lot of behavior problems. You just have to show a firm hand with them."

The move to have Hussein stand in the corner has been questioned by human rights activists, but most of the global community applauded the CIA for its willingness to make Saddam behave himself.

According to Chopsworthy, "We'll give him time outs until he complies, but if that spoiled little man has one more temper tantrum, he gets a spanking."

Washington officials would not comment on just how the spanking would be administered or by whom, but did endorse the methods being employed by Hussein's captors.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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