Written by KendoMonkey

Sunday, 5 August 2001

image for Skydiver breaks through terminal velocity
Holy ripcord!

A skydiver broke all physical laws earlier this month as she fell beyond the speed of terminal velocity. Shiela Wilkins, 42, fell at a fantastic rate, approaching 230 mph on her way down to earth. Said Shiela, "It was incredible; I went from being able to see a whole county in one second, to just a field in another. Oh, it was wonderful, although I do admit to papping myself."

The skydiving incident has flummoxed scientists who have failed to explain the incident. "It is bizarre," said one scientist, "she ought to have been turned inside-out, and in again! But instead she's right as rain, fit as a fiddle. To be honest, it scares me. But then I've always been intimidated by women. Which, incidentally, is why I grew this large straggling beard."

The general formula for terminal velocity is currently being altered to match observations.

"Science isn't and cannot be always right. Which is why I still hold viciously onto my theory of baby bouncing."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Topics: Science

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
65 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more