Canada's RCMP Defends Taser Torture and Murder at Airport

Funny story written by Felix Minderbinder

Monday, 19 November 2007

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Taser torture

OTTAWA (FMLiveWire) - In response to public outrage at the death of the innocent Polish man tasered, tortured and murdered by Mounties at Vancouver International Airport last month, RCMP Commissioner William Elliott issued an idiotic statement on Saturday defending the RCMP's brutal handling of the case.

"The RCMP wishes to once again extend our deepest sympathy to his family," Elliott said after the release of the horrifying video on Youtube and elsewhere showing Polish immigrant Robert Dziekanski screaming in pain as he died after being shocked by police on October 14.

"As all Canadians know, the RCMP is a national embarrassment and the public has every right to have no confidence in the force," he admitted. "This is just one of hundreds of bungled RCMP actions by our incompetent and politically-manipulated pack of corrupt fascists."

"Our four moron officers who performed this crime have not been suspended or charged with murder since we employ only the stupidest and most vicious thugs imaginable, and to charge one with murder would mean charging all of our fucking idiots," he indicated.

"Canadians know that stun guns are a savage tool used by our Nazi force to brutalize citizens under the Conservative government of Stephen Harper and Minister of Public Safety Stockwell Day."

Elliott laughed at the Dziekanski video and said all of his staff get a "kick out of it."

"The RCMP are at the forefront of the Americanization of Canada and the application of Israeli torture methods to children and innocent people," he chuckled.

"And we all know that the War on Terror is so much bullshit, and is just a cover for Israel to steal Palestinian land, to ethnically cleanse Palestine for Zionist Supermen, and it is also cover for oil wars by George Bush and his cronies," he concluded.

"Canada is a sick US ally and also supplies vast amounts of oil to the dying US empire in order to hasten global warming and the extinction of all life on Earth. RCMP monkeys are just doing our part."

--Copyright Felix Minderbinder Live Wire

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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