Santiago, Chile - (Ibero-American Mess): Spain's puppet monarch King Juan Carlos The Jackal threw a major wobbly today at the Ibero-American summit in Chile and ordered Venezuelan leader Hugo Chavez to "shut the f##k up" before calling him a "commie crackhead".
The slanging match erupted after a warm welcome address by Chilean hosts who announced the theme of this year's summit was to be Social Cohesion.
Hugo Chavez then got up and called ex-Spanish Prime Mobster Jose Maria Aznar a "fascist little sh**e hiding behind a pathetic Hitler moustache".
Aznar in turn defended his honor by lobbing a ripe papaya at the Venezuelan leader.
This soon erupted in a major bunfight between the assembled dignitaries from South America, Portugal, Spain and Andorra meeting in Chile's capital Santiago.
"Ne Ne Ne Neneh!" Chavez retaliated, dodging a barrage of exotic fruit, half-eaten tortillas, chicken-wings and assorted items of cutlery that were soon flying around the reception hall where the summit was taking place.
Turning to the Spanish delegation Hugo Chavez then upped the pain threshold by pouring scorn on Aznar's manhood and adding that "fascists aren't human, a rabid snake is more human that you horrible little EU tossers."
It was at that point that King Juan Carlos The Jackal interceded with his 50 pesetas-worth of advice.
The summit was quickly broken up when Chilean riot police opened a volley of water cannon to cool off the mayhem that filled the reception.
The ensuing damage caused to the summit building is estimated to be running into the tens of millions of dollars at the last count.