Man Vs Wild Star Eaten by Cannibals

Saturday, 1 September 2007

Bongo Bongo, Ungawa Mon Bwana (IP) - Man Vs Wild star Bear Grylls was mistaken for a lost comedian while lost in the African jungle and was devoured by cannibals. They cooked him up in a giant black iron pot with recurving edges at the top. Underneath the fire logs radiated outward like the spokes of a wheel with a yellow flame dancing upward in the middle as they licked at the bottom of the steaming pot.

The cannibals were convinced that he was a comedian because he was making funny noises while trying to catch a funky chickenhawk bird to use as a meal after going four whole days without a five-star hotel meal (the chickenhawk). Two cannibals took a bites out of a hand bone and one asked the other, "This taste funny to you ?" and the other cannibal spit his out and said "this not comedian and not taste funny, this just another dumb ass bwana lost in jungle - me want comedian funny meal".

The cannibals went back to their village and cleaned themselves up. They put on some western clothing and headed for the airport. They were desperate to find a comedian to eat. They had been unable to get good dates with the local women due to their lack of a sense of humor.
They held a serious set of beliefs which included the theory that to be brave you eat the heart of a warrior and to be funny you eat the funny bone of a comedian.

They were headed for the states to find a good comedy club somewhere. Hopefully they won't find Bill Cosby or Jerry Seinfeld. Rush Limbaugh and What'shisname Hannity are much funnier.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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