Aliens admit 'Earth really is not for us'

Written by Ben Macnair

Monday, 6 August 2007

image for Aliens admit 'Earth really is not for us'

There was shock in Texas today, as a family of Aliens admits that Earth really is not for them.

The Smiths, from Axotl 5, said: "Earth seemed like a good idea at the time, but it took more than 50,000 light years to get here. That really is too far for the school run, and Lucy and Emily both have their friends and Piano Lessons on Tuesday, Tennis on Wednesday, and Stamp Collecting Classes on Thursday, and we really did not want to take them away from all of that, now, did we?"

The friendly family, who are now on the journey homewards also pointed out that their planet had its problems, but not as many as they could see existing on Earth: "You have Money, and only two arms. We would stick out like a sore thumb, with our way of bartering with Hippopotamus. I don't think they would take to kindly to us in Wal-Mart!"

The Family wished the people of Earth the best of luck, but were sorry that they would not be partaking in the customs of Hand Shaking, Smiles that used white teeth, and more than 1 language.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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