New Yoik (WKRPJFK) - They fly into buildings, blow up trains and buses, and don't shower. Al Qaeda have used numerous 'evil bastard' methods to create misery for us evil western 'heathen bastards'. Now, it would appear, they have advanced and become more sinister and covert.
Kristina Karlsen, head of the US department for Terrorist Evils Using Spherical Circular Objects (TESCO) told an empty room yesterday,
"We have been closely monitoring the way AQ use balls and round fruit. We can now predict that they will use bowling balls that are really bombs. They will look just like the real thing, but with have 'BOMB' written on them, and there will be a wick on the top."
Ms Karlsen's revelations came after mounting criticism that TESCO was a waste of tax-payers money and her only achievement was reducing the price of beer in the subsidized department worker's bar from $9 to 23 cents. Last year, she was alleged to have called Tony Blair an 'evil bastard', George Bush a 'butt pirate', and the Pope a 'dude in a dress'.
The Vatican refused to comment.